[balance]

my insides are becoming a bit more complicated lately. just in the sense that they are not able to find a happy medium. a good balance. oh, that's all I really want.
I am finding it easier to be awake when I am not taking so much of the seroquel but the in between is a bit more difficult. it's too obvious. plus all the samples are running running out and I am not sure what to do. I can't afford this stuff. maybe there's something else that will chill me out and be cheap. Like copious amounts of drugs? joke. probably expensive anyway...

summer time almost and most of me is having a hard time mustering up enthusiasm. for anything. I feel floaty and disconnected. everything is flat lately. even my face is muted. I keep putting on more shimmyer highlighter but it still looks so gray. the face i mean. this body is also muted though. sunshine in a bottle though, working maybe? and my hair is muddy or something. It's hard to see the brights all around when looking at myself evokes feelings of blah. I am trying though, or trying to try. quitting several things lately. maybe that will help. maybe it won't.
bunnies meeting kitties this weekend.