[July 4th]

Home from work right before midnight. Busses running on a Holiday schedule- once an hour; still late. This house is empty for the weekend. Besides cats. Besides glasses of wine. Besides me. Yesterday was awful. I had felt hopeful but now all practicality in me has been replaced with this crushing feeling. I'm practicing breathing- it helps. My stomach is in knots.
I do not mind. There are probably an amount of I told you so's going around. Tomorrow I'm going dowtown and will pretend I don't exist. It's easier to do with hundreds of people surrounding you.
it's okay though. It's okay.

It's okay.