[more than it must]

I am so behind. But it doesn't matter; perspective or something:

Portland and birds and foreign friends. We drank, and laughed, and ate, and did all the perfect things one is supposed to do while away. Martha and I could have easily been happily gone for months. We are thinking that hostels are our new best friends and might make a trip to Canada before passports are required. Ideally Iceland would be next but with our complete lack of real money (we have a lot of fake money) we can only get so far.

This weekend was ten times more ridiculous than our Portland week but I'm too embarrassed to tell you why, even here.

I am thinking that I need to somehow learn to embrace crying in public. Shouldn't it be freeing, sharing all that with strangers? Sometimes I suppose.

Everything is all a mess though and I'm not afraid to tell you that most of whatever I've got is pretty shitty. Life and whatever. It's easier to be flippant about it because I'm really trying to not let any of it bother or hurt me any more than it must. Occasionally it feels so complicated but when I break it down (for a friend) it's so simple and infinitely more sad. Whatever- I am strong and the world won't end, even if everything else does.